Sucking Cock and Having Self-respect

Sucking Cock and Having Self-respect

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It is a common misconception that men and particularly women in the porn industry do not respect themselves. Often people’s perceptions of sex work is a result of how they perceive they would experience sex work themselves. Therefore, the only way these people could imagine themselves as a sex worker is if they had as little self-respect as they think we do. I understand why conclusions are drawn this way. Seeing the world in terms of one’s self is an ability that helps us empathize with, relate to, and understand other people. Yet, if we don’t recognize when to remove our selves from the picture, then our ability fails us and we gain misconceptions about others and the world around us.

 

I believe that self-respect has little to do with the choices you make in your life, but rather how you feel about the choices you make. Do you feel good about the decisions you have made? If not, are you willing to recognize this and change your course of action? Are you proud of who you are? When it comes to determining self-worth, details about what you do is trivial and moot because it’s about how you feel doing what you do.

 

I know that pornography does not seem like a place where one could enrich their sense of self-worth or self-respect, but, ironically, being in porn has given me an exceptional amount of self-respect. As a sex worker I have gained a better understanding and greater respect for my boundaries. Because I have learned to recognize and define my sexual boundaries so clearly in order to take responsibility for the choices I make in this industry, I easily have been able to recognize and enforce healthy boundaries in other areas of my life such as relationships, communication, and how I take care of myself physically and mentally. Because of this, I have a very strong sense of self, and I believe in who I am and the choices I make for myself.

 

Self-respect is defined as how one regards one’s self – no one else can determine this for me. The only thing another person can determine is whether they respect me, not whether I respect myself. We all have different experiences when it comes to discovering our self-worth. Even if it is unconventional, there is no wrong way to cultivate your own sense of self. No one can determine your self-worth, but you.

 

Overall, I take pride in what I do, and I take pride in who I am.

 

You may not respect what I do.

You may not respect who you think I am.

 

But my self-respect has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.

 

-Chanel

 

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9 thoughts on “Sucking Cock and Having Self-respect

  1. Illenia says:

    I have to say, I’ve noticed that a majority of sex workers in the business today are well educated people who do this work because it suits them & they enjoy it. They don’t seem to be doing it because they need to or because it is necessary, they do it because they chose to. A lot of them are in fact graduates, smart people with common sense & a chance at other well paying jobs as well. If there is anything in the world that says, “I respect myself”, it is a strong person who does whatever the fuck they please regardless of judgment or negative opinions. Chanel, you’re by far my favorite porn actress, not because of your movies considering I haven’t seen many, but because you’re great on the page. You have an excellent way with words & your advice is something to be listened to. Plus you are an educated, empowered woman, & that’s fucking rad! Keep blogging & I will be sure to keep reading <3

  2. Luc Toulouse says:

    I think is an old mind set from 80’s when some people use that to degrade porn star at the time.

    I think most porn star are self-respect. But I think is an attitude to develop. I saw the documentary after porn end and saw raylene saying that her son saved her life and porn was over. Crying like a little girl. I feel that she was ashamed about it. Maybe she was not in the industry for the right reason. She comes back eventually because she had money issue. Very sad.

    And seriously, every actors should have self-respect. You need to get so much guts to do that. Being naked in front of 4-5 people who looking at you. I’m sorry. I have to focus to pee when I am in a public bathroom, could you imagine to pee naked?!?!?!?! Impossible (also size matter then…..)

  3. Corbis and Martin Fife says:

    This is an ancient practice, indulged in originally by the ancient Sumerians and perfected by the Babylonians. Women of Assyria were considered the finest fellatrix’s in the middle east. They specialized in swallowing many things, including swords, wrought iron, the horns of various ungulates and assorted other things they could slide down their hungry gullet. I can imagine the men of aristocracy, waiting in eager anticipation, to get their knob polished by some hungry fellatrix. Pretty creepy stuff.

  4. Sleepless G says:

    I have commented on your Blog a couple of times…not sure why I do except I’m probably attracted to your body if not your intellect. You know what is said about a Sexy Mind, which is far more important than anything else. I applaud your attitude about Sex Work. Sex and pornography has it’s place in our society. But as I have said many times “this is not probably the right career choice for most young girls.” I was just saying the other day that it would be nice if there was an over-the-hill age requirement of 21 to be in porn. You know frontal lobe and right choices for your life. Whatdayya think?

    But anyone who chooses to be a “sex worker” should give it all they have, or not in in this business. I just find it oh so comical sometimes especially when women call themselves sex workers. And I also find it comical some of the things female porn stars do on camera to become famous. I mean, they go crazy!!! Men also but especially women. I suppose it is all about self-respect.

  5. Kabir says:

    Hi, I am an Indian. And I totally understand what you mean when you say went the American society needs to be more open about sex. Earlier I too thought a porn star didn’t respect herself or himself, this was when I was 15… Now that I am 30, I have realized that sex workers are regular humans with ambition, family, self respect and perfectly normal minds.

    I don’t watch a lot of porn now. I do sometimes. And I think the industry and its people deserve more respect. I wish humans didn’t think the way they do.

    Stay happy and blessed. And don’t give a fuck about what anyone says. Take care :)

  6. Lake Los Angeles Homie says:

    I have a ruca, she comes over to my pad in palmdale, we make-out and hunch. Sometimes we play hide the chili, she so good at it. you good at it to baby. chanel, i watched your movies, you are really sexy baby, love your lashes and sweet body, you are so fine

  7. Mr. R.I.N.G. says:

    I always thought women who did this were true nymphos. A sign of a submissive beautiful woman ravaging your manhood is a sight of mind blowing power!

    Imagine if you will, the sexiest creature on this earth on her knees, inhaling your distended manhood, could anything be more mind shattering?

    The sensation of warmth, moisture, the lewd slurping, the wantonness, just blows out my senses. Even the slight, imperceptible use of teeth is a turn-on! it becomes even more euphoric when you gaze down into her gorgeous, feminine face and see he eyes, slightly glazed, hal-open, completely engrossed in your stalk! I think I need a very, very coooold shower, get my mind right beautiful.

  8. John says:

    Well written! Won my respect.

  9. Anu says:

    Hi Chanel, Loved this blog. Very well written. People outside porn usually have a different perspective about sex workers and people justify their judgements and perspective especially when sex workers regret what they did after retiring from porn. I hate the fact that people like sex and like to watch porn but just because they are not in that profession, they make negative judgements about the self esteem of the performers. I have listened to some of your interviews and read your blogs. You seem to have lot of confidence which is admirable. It shows that you do self analysis and keep on learning without regrets. I was born and brought up in a county where English is a second language, not a spoken language, and women are treated like second class citizens. After I moved to Canada 4 years back, I really like being here and I am very happy about the relationship choice and a great career choice that I have made. I never compare with others and hence I feel content and I enjoy my successful journey. But I always encounter language issues. There are situations where I feel that I cannot ignore what others think about me especially when I face cultural changes. My self esteem stoops very low just because I care about others especially when I face adapting to new culture. How do you think I should handle this?

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